02-JAN-2023

Couldn’t get to sleep last night. Scrolled TikTok for wayyy too long. Finally drifted off 2ish. Woke 8:30am not feeling great.

AH arrived approx 9am to finish work on house. 

Went to gym which was absolutely rammed 🤮 so just did an hour walk on the treadmill, no weights.

Messaged B again (yes, I am an idiot) apologising for sending that text on nye. Also said I hoped we could keep some sort of friendship 🤦🏼‍♀️ Obviously what I’m really hoping for is for him to say he wants to give things a proper go - I know I’m delusional. Unsurprisingly he hasn’t replied.

EO messaged to say that it meant a lot that I put a Christmas card through her door. Hoping that relationship can be salvaged.

SC messaged to check how I am and to ask whether builder came back to finish the house ♥️  Also brief conversation in group with her and BM.

Food shopped, cooked, budgeted for the coming month, organised things for going back to work tomorrow. Emailed mortgage advisor to get things moving on the house but he replied to say he’s away until 19th Jan and asked me to send 3months financial documents by then.

Mood is still low. Hoping an early night and a sleeping tablet will make tomorrow feel easier.

Grateful for:

Friends who check in

Demolition of rubbish extension being finished

Having the motivation to make healthy decisions for myself